Let’s talk routines for a moment – we all have them.  My spouse prefers a routine to be like a well oiled machine, time blocked, scheduled and fairly rigid.  I tend to lean towards a more flexible schedule that allows for some spontaneity to pop up now and again.  From an outsiders perspective, I imagine it strongly resembles a three ring circus with the chaos narrowly prevented from escaping the tent.  Whatever your routine looks like, the most important thing to consider is:  Is it working for you?

Recently, I added a few more projects to my life in hopes of making progress toward some personal goals.     As I began to feel the weight of the added responsibilities, I had this reoccuring thought pass through my mind.  A thought I had heard often throughout my life, but never given much substance to, “If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you’ve always got.” For some reason, this thought came at me like a freight train.  Immediately, I realized I was doing the same things, hoping for a different outcome.  I needed to step back and look at the process.  Then I needed to

Improve the Process.

The “how” of my routine, not the why.

The “why” was on lock.

When we have a strong leading why, it is easier to adjust the how, because we want to make it work.  We will make initially inconvenient, or uncomfortable adjustments, even sacrifices to get to the end goal.  As I stepped back to evaluate how my routine was working for me, I realized it wasn’t.  It was not because of the busy, it was because of the priorities.  I had let them fade to the back as I was dealing with the urgent.

This lead me to find a way that would align my goals with my actions.  I didn’t want to adopt someone else’s routine, because that is what works for them and their goals.  I wanted to create a routine that would propel my family and our goals.  With this in mind, I started working on a framework to help me design my days with my years in mind, and ultimately came to the conclusion:  A routine that works, typically has these 5 elements.

  5 Elements of a Routine that is Working

When you dream big, like really big:  House, vacations, education, travel, adventures, traditions, weddings, financial security, all of the components that make up a life, excitement is spilling.  Then comes the “how.” It’s time to fasten your safety belt, because the next step is to break that down into a can do today goal.  Otherwise it is destine to remain in the dream-osphere. So, first things first for a routine that works would be:

Element 1:  Vision

Your Priorities/Goals Are In View

Take a moment, and think, sketch, create a vision board, but most importantly decide what you are working towards.  Once that is completed, then you simply ask what is my first step towards those goals and how do I show progress toward them on a daily basis.

Let’s throw in an example:  Say one of your priorities is a good relationship with your spouse.  Relationships are strengthened when time is invested, so you may want to do a weekly date night.  How does that become part of your routine.  First, set aside a night, treat it like any other commitment.  Make it happen, just as you show up for soccer practice or teeth cleanings.  Second, get in the habit of reserving a sitter if needed, two of the biggest drawbacks to going out are failure to plan ahead and stressing a sitter.  Maybe part of your routine is booking a sitter.  Third, alternate with your spouse who plans the date.  Then you have taken some of the decisions or excuses out and it becomes a regular ongoing event.

Element 2:  Time

You gain benefits where you invest.  If one of your life goals, is to maintain health and fitness but you over schedule and skip lunch, and are frequently too exhausted to enjoy some yoga, or bike ride with the kids.  The likelihood of this goal, is starting to slim.  Don’t do that to yourself, if it is important to you, it deserves time.  If your current routine has edged out your long term goals, call for a redo.  Just as in the example above if you claim moments for goals, you will be driven to accomplishments.

Element 3: Productivity

You be you.  Observe yourself.  When I first wake up my mind is clear and my focus is keen.  Around 8 pm, I am not sure I can recite my name correctly as I have spent the last hour and a half, responding to mom on rapid fire as we eat dinner, and get ready for the next day.  One thing you can do is arrange your schedule to meet your capacity.  If I decide to wake up, hit the gym, shower and get ready for the day I may be losing some of my most mentally available time to a workout.  That is perfectly fine, if it is working.  However, it may be more beneficial for me to engage my day early and break for a workout at noon, or even in the evening.

Element 4: Automation

Pause for a moment to think about the decisions you make daily.  Each day we are confronted with an array of decisions.  From the most basic of what to eat, to critical life events like, should I take this career opportunity. Often, because we are faced with so many unique options, we develop what is called decision fatigue.  Decision fatigue is the  deteriorating quality of decisions made after a long session of decision making.  It’s that breaking point when the options all the sudden seem, not appealing and you just want someone else to take over.  This is where routines involving automation are huge.  Think about the little things you do each day, is there a way to take the deciding factor out?  Can you start to automate a few things or processes, reserving capacity for more critical points of interest?

Element 5: Flexibility

Each day is it’s own adventure.  There is always a wild card.  A routine that allows for some flexibility if things don’t go exactly as planned is essential.  Flexibility will offer you opportunities to better care for yourself and others, as well as provide moments for some spontaneity.  One of my 4 year olds favorite stories to tell is the about the day we stole (for the record we borrowed it with a spare key) dad’s car from work and took it to the carwash and returned it with treats for him to find after work.  If your routine becomes to rigid, it may become so much of an inconvenience you lose some of the fun that life has to offer.

Hopefully, your routine and the routine you have for your family is helping you achieve those longer term goals and dreams, if not tomorrow is a new day, so ask yourself is my routine working?  If not, improve the process.